Andrew's Insights

The AI Revolution You Never Asked For
🚀 BETA - LAUNCHING SOON™

What People Are Saying

"I tried to cancel my subscription but Andrew's Insights predicted I would do that and charged me extra for being predictable." - Confused Customer
"The AI told me my password was weak, then immediately guessed it was 'password123'. I'm both impressed and terrified." - Security Expert
"Andrew's Insights predicted I would leave a 1-star review, so it left one for me. 5 stars for efficiency!" - Satisfied(?) User
"It's like having a crystal ball, except the crystal ball judges your life choices." - Fortune Teller

💰 Unreasonably Priced Plans

Basic Disappointment
$99.99/month
  • 1 insight per year
  • Insights may be wrong
  • Customer support via carrier pigeon
  • Access to our "Maybe" button
  • Complimentary regret
Premium Confusion
$499.99/month
  • 5 insights per month
  • Insights guaranteed to be words
  • 24/7 support (we'll call you at 3am)
  • Exclusive access to our "Definitely Maybe" feature
  • Free existential crisis
  • Your data sold to only premium buyers
Enterprise Chaos
$2,999.99/month
  • Unlimited insights (mostly about lunch)
  • Dedicated account manager who avoids you
  • API access (returns random fortune cookies)
  • White-label confusion for your brand
  • Priority queue for disappointment
  • Custom dashboard showing nothing useful
  • Executive summary: "It's complicated"

🎉 SPECIAL OFFER!

Use promo code DON for a 50% INCREASE in price!

*Because we believe you deserve to pay more for premium confusion

🔮 Coming Soon™

Andrew's Insights is currently in beta, which means it's perfectly imperfect and ready to revolutionize your decision-making process by making it significantly worse.

Sign up now to be disappointed first!

© 2024 Andrew's Insights. All rights reserved. All wrongs also reserved.

AI stands for "Artificial Intelligence" but could also stand for "Absolutely Inconvenient"